Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Gym Class Heroes

This was the best day ever, although I'm not sure what we learned 
on parachute day.
There are plenty of things I learned in school I've never needed to use in real life. Pythagorean theorems come to mind. But also, gym class. Like, all of it, actually.
I went to a small public high school. We did things in gym like canoeing and cross country skiing, which were fun, and while I haven't actually gone canoeing or cross country skiing since graduation, I totally could. Of course, these things are easily picked up even by adults who've never done it before, and I didn't actually learn anything while doing them for gym class other than how far away I needed to ski or row in order to be beyond the sight of the teacher so I could smoke without getting caught.
But we also did things in gym class like line and square dancing. Now, I understand Zumba's a thing and people actually pay other people money to shout dance moves at them for fun and fitness. But never in my life have I needed to know how to do si do. In fact, I could probably have gotten by without knowing the rules to pretty much every game or activity we played. Like those little saucer things we scooted around on that were really just good for running over your own damn fingers? Yeah, I haven't used whatever skill I learned from that, ever, because I still hurt myself at every possible opportunity (accidentally, of course.)
What I didn't learn, that actually would have been helpful, is how to properly do a squat or the correct form for planks. I was well into adulthood before I realized I'd been feeling the burn in all the wrong places when it came to just about every exercise I tried.
Actual Gym Class Heroes
Running the mile once a year in order to pass some arbitrary fitness test? Didn't really prepare me for the 5Ks everyone and their brother are signing up for now- which I'd really like to do, except for the tiny fact that I only run to bakeries, and even then it's in my car.
This has been on my mind because now that the monkeys are all back in school, they're assigned physical education every day. I truly wonder how much they're actually learning when they report that Fruit Ninja was part of the curriculum. This I can't make up.