Thursday, July 17, 2014

Crazy at Any Cost

I'm batshit insane. I would like to believe the monkeys drove me to it, but sadly, I was certifiable long before they even existed. The real difference is that now, I'm medicated for their protection. And, I suppose, my own.
Today I picked up my monthly ration of crazy pills and forked over $50 for the copays and started thinking about how the hell the un- or underinsured manage. While it's annoying to me that I have to pay anything at all to keep from drooling in the corner, the fitty smackeroos doesn't break my bank, and in the end is a small price to pay.
If Husband's insurance didn't cover the bulk of the cost?
Whole different ballgame, my friends.
My weekly therapy sessions cost $150. My monthly psychiatrist appointment is another $175. I'm on three medications. One is only $130. Another is generic, so it's only $50. The third is $998.99. So for the bargain basement price of nearly 2k, I manage to function well enough to be left alone for short periods of time.Obviously, insurance covers the bulk of all of this, and I thank my lucky stars it does, even as I'm annoyed that my crazy effects my wallet at all.
But without the insurance? I'd go untreated. Which means the monkeys would
go unfed, the house would go even more uncleaned, and basically, my life would be an even bigger shitshow than it is now.
What this has made me think about isn't necessarily what my own life would be like without insurance, and not because I think Husband couldn't possibly lose his job or that there's no chance I'd ever have to go without again, because trust me, I'm a champion worrier who always, always, always thinks of the worst possible case scenario. Twice.
For once my incredible narcissism has stepped aside so that I could think about how something might effect people who aren't me. 
Forget the stigma of even seeking help for mental illness-which is huge, by the way- the cost of treatment is simply too high for a large group of people. The same people who so desperately need mental health care- therapy and/or medications- are also often unemployable or severely underemployed.
Without income, there's no insurance. Government subsidized insurance isn't available to everyone, and often doesn't cover the cost of reliable, appropriate treatment, so they simply go without.
I'd have to, if Husband didn't have such rocking insurance.
Without turning this into a discussion about anything else, how many people self-medicate with illicit drugs or alcohol? How many turn to crime? How many simply give up and self-terminate?
I recognize that I'm crazy. I also seek and receive treatment because being bananas isn't actually any fun at all. But as crazy people go, I realize I'm a pretty damned lucky one, and for that I'm eternally grateful.