Thursday, July 10, 2014

Resting Bitch Face

Before the internet went bananas and made a thousand memes about Resting Bitch Face, those of us who actually have a naturally bitchy look about our visages were sitting over here, looking like we hate everything.
You know what I'm talking about, naturally happy-looking people. You've all seen someone who just looked like a massive bitch. Odds are, they weren't, although some of us can totally be when the need arises. Or just because.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to smile, or cheer up, or asked me what was wrong, I'd never have to send Husband off to work again. Sadly, I don't have a dollar for each such occurrence, so Husband will be slaving away until our lottery numbers get picked. Meanwhile, I'm sick to death of hearing that I look miserable. If you all think people with RBF don't know they have it, you're sadly mistaken.
That little tragedy notwithstanding, what really grinds my gears is knowing I look like I'm pissed off at the world and being powerless to prevent it, which only causes more people who sort of know me from the Monkeys' school events but have no actual idea who I am when I'm not pretending to be a good parent to express their concern over my normal face. 
Ok, sure, I could walk around with a forced permagrin, but trust me, that shit gets old.
I know because I tried it for a few minutes the other day.
The upside is that I don't have to worry about tricking strangers into thinking I'm a nice person who gives two shits about whatever inappropriate thing people overshare with strangers. People who don't know me don't often talk to me. Since I'm anti-human, Resting Bitch Face actually works in my favor here. 
I just wish the rest of the world would shut up about it already and let me look like an asshole in peace. But then, I'm bananas, so what do I know?